This whole schooling thing...

Is taking over my brain.

What was originally a fantasy turned to a desire then to a plan then to a goal.
Montessori school became my focus and for the last month it's been all I've been muttering about. I've been wanting to get him enrolled. The waitinglist really takes off and I didn't want it to zoom by without us especially since they have very few part time spots.

But then I'm reminded of my all time favorite memories of walking trails with my other homescooled or unschooled friends. Day time spent with just my sister in the pool of the apartment complex. All the other kids had returned to school for the semester so it was all for us.

I remember my mother with classical music playing, us getting up and doing our work when we felt like it and never leaving the house if we didn't. We were on our time and that's still something I find very valuable. It's obvious though, isn't it? I work night so I can spend my days doing my own thing. I have to at least let him have that while he's young.

With the teachings and schedule of the Montessori school I'm eyeing, this isn't the best idea. J would be to school by 8AM and home by 3PM. Very much a full day. There would be no lingering even with the ride being less than a minute or the walk less than five. I wouldn't be able to crowd him with my goodbyes even if I wanted to. Drop off is prompt but no that's not the schedule that gets me. Two days a week he'd be away but every day I'm encouraged to wake him at the same time, keep the same schedule. No free time in there. No making the day up as we go. It kinda makes me cringe even though I know it has to be that way sometimes.

Just like that, this school has become exactly what I wanted to get us away from before ever getting there. The scheduling or time constraints of public or private early education. The school itself is great, the staff is great but maybe not $240 worth of great.

And just like that again, my timeline of slowly getting myself back to self-employed has changed. Instead of dropping him off to school and heading home or out to work, I need to find a solution and the only one I see that fits is budgeting a little bit to give him to a sitter. More than likely this will be my mother but it will have to be someone either way and I'm sure it will not be free. With her needing to get on her feet, the money will come in handy so it will not be free.

There is still the cooperative that costs $80 a month. It has a schedule in terms of what they do while together but I'm not sure about much else. I've sent back an email just this evening detailing my little family, my philosophy as a parent (lol) and my thoughts on the type of schooling I'm into. I've taken them up on their invitation to visit and so we'll see what comes of it.

Another email will go out before the night is out. Another homeschool/unschool group that seems to be based on a free learning experience. That fits me a bit more but as J gets older, I do want him to have more than just a few outings in the month. Again I'll describe my little family, J and I and I'll wait to hear from them.

I'm not fully decided on anything but maybe its cause I'm not too sure of what I want. As with me and most things, if I write them down (what I want in this case) I can tell immediately what it is I'm leaning towards. I'll skip that for now. I'm already confused enough. Maybe I'll look into another type of school and feel a fit. But I think, I think that J will get his early schooling from me and whatever homeschooling/unschooling group we join and then he'll have his days where he goes to his grandmother while I work on the business side of things. Most important is his education though so here I am killing myself over it already. Whatever I do, I want to get it going in August when my work situation and any extra should be settled so really that's not much time. If he'll be away, he'll need to be prepared for that.

Challenge totals for today:

declutter 2012: 18/2012. A few more cans, a bag of food we aren't going to eat.

EF: $15.64/$1400 I have a few rebates to send out but that will add at most $6.

NoSpend January: $10 spent on gas. I did good buying nothing at the cake supply store

Pantry Challenge: Dinner is salmon cakes, veggies and mashed potatoes. M paid for lunch and dessert this time. I've been treated twice this week. I think it needs to continue.